“Don’t tell me how to make a record. I was in Nirvana. I was in the greatest rock and roll band of the ’90s. We changed the course of rock music. … Give me a carton of Marlboros. Fuck you, man, I was in Nirvana, you asshole. I’m on RCA, dammit. Don’t you know who I am? I’m a millionaire.”
–Dave Grohl of Nirvana (and Foo Fighters, and Queens of the Stone Age, and Them Crooked Vultures, and Mondo Generator, and Sound City Players, and Backbeat Band, and Scream).
Archive for the Comedy Category
Happy Birthday, Dave Grohl!
Posted in Comedy with tags Dave Grohl, Foo Fighters, Mondo Generator, Nirvana, Queens of the Stone Age, Scream, Sound City Players, Them Crooked Vultures on 01/14/2026 by Kurt OrzeckBillionaire Bloat on a Boat: European Cruise With Sax Player Dave Koz Costs Up to $17,698.60
Posted in Comedy, Essays with tags artistocracy, Dave Koz, depraved, elites, greed, millionaires, wealth on 01/09/2026 by Kurt Orzeck
Feast your eyes on that lovely smile. Those pearly whites. The jacket made out material that could probably fund health care coverage for 100 Americans. (That’s conjecture, but you get the drift.) Meet Dave Koz, the prolific jazz saxophonist who, since launching his career in 1990, has never won a Grammy. Don’t get him wrong, though: He’s a hard “worker,” in that he appears to have had a lot of cosmetic work done to his physical appearance.
Don’t knock The Bad Penny for pointing this out; The Kozman is proud of his accomplishments. In May 2020, he raved to no one in particular about his beauty in a textbook-oblivious Facebook post, saying, “Well, it’s been 3 years since I actually saw my full face. Today was the day to shave. 😊 Not sure if I’ll keep it this way, but man, my face feels like a baby’s bottom…SO good! What do you say, beard or no beard?!”
Another Oxymoronic Creed News Headline
Posted in Comedy, News with tags Creed, Oxymorons, Scott Stapp on 11/13/2025 by Kurt OrzeckIt only took Creed less than two months to confound us once again with a self-owning update:
On Tyranny: David Cross Scolds ‘Heroes’ Louis CK, Bill Burr for Playing Saudi Arabia Comedy Fest
Posted in Comedy, Features, News, On Tyranny, On Tyranny with tags Bill Burr, David Cross, Louis CK on 10/02/2025 by Kurt Orzeck
Well, at least someone in the now-ludicrously successful world of comedy is standing up for human rights. David Cross, in a Monday newsletter to his fans, expressed disappointment that many of his peers are performing for the “depraved, awful people” attending the Riyadh Comedy Festival in Saudi Arabia, whose authoritarian leadership mandates observance of Sharia law and carries out mass executions despite condemnation by international human-rights groups.
Notably, Cross pointed out the hypocrisy of comedians who regularly bemoan so-called “cancel culture” for participating in a comedy festival staged by a royal family that bans free speech in the country they rule. Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman infamously directed the assassination of Washington Post columnist Jamal Khashoggi at the Saudi consulate in October 2018.
The Riyadh Comedy Festival began Friday and concludes a week from today. Other participants include Dave Chappelle, Aziz Ansari, Jimmy Carr, Russell Peters, Whitney Cummings, Pete Davidson, Tom Segura, Andrew Schulz, Bobby Lee, Sam Morril, Jo Koy, Gabriel Iglesias and Kevin Hart, among others.
Burr said on his Monday Morning Podcast that at least the festival’s attendees were “happy,” and called performing at the festival “one of the top three best experiences I’ve had,” according to Rolling Stone.
Continue readingThe Most Oxymoronic Album Title in Recent Memory Is …
Posted in Comedy with tags Creed, David Cross, ScottStapp on 09/25/2025 by Kurt Orzeck
From the press release issued Tuesday:
“The first collection to feature stadium-shaking anthems from all four Creed albums, including ‘One Last Breath,’ ‘Higher,’ ‘With Arms Wide Open’ and ‘My Sacrifice.’ Digital edition out today; vinyl and CD available November 21 via Craft Recordings. Band closes out a triumphant 2025 with five-date CREEDMAS tour.”
Lord have mercy.
Much, much worthier of a listen is David Cross’ unforgettable bit on Scott Stapp, which appeared as a “hidden track” on Cross’ It’s Not Funny album:
Did David Yow Tell His Version of ‘The Aristocrats’ on The Jesus Lizard’s ‘Lady Shoes’?
Posted in Comedy, Essays with tags David Yow, The Aristocrats, the Jesus Lizard on 09/05/2025 by Kurt Orzeck
If you’re even fairly familiar with raunchy comedy, “The Aristocrats,” an ever-evolving running joke so dirty that comics used to only tell it to each other behind closed doors, probably rings a bell. The jape varies in length, vulgarity, structure, plot and tone, depending on whichever comedian is telling their version of it. But baked into the joke are, unwaveringly, graphic scenes of a family engaging in scatological, sordid and smutty behavior during an audition in a misguided effort to win over an agent to book their stage act. And the punch line always remains the same, with the family revealing at the end of the audition that their stage name is “The Aristocrats.”
Continue readingDoppelgängers: Louis CK’s and David Cross’ Nearly Identical Jokes on Male Rollerbladers
Posted in Comedy, Doppelgängers, Essays, Features with tags David Cross, Louis C.K. on 08/31/2025 by Kurt OrzeckLouis C.K. and David Cross were roommates in the ’90s, so it’s not shocking that they came up with nearly the exact same bit on men with mustaches rollerblading in public with a sense of superiority to those they passed on the sidewalk.
From David Cross’ comedy album Shut Up, You Fucking Baby (2002):
From Louis C.K.’s first full-length broadcast special, Shameless (2007):
This post is dedicated to Dan Stevenson.
3 Youngish, Anti-Bro Comics You Should Know: Jack Tucker, Connor O’Malley, Chris Fleming
Posted in Comedy, Videos with tags Chris Fleming, Connor O'Malley, Jack Tucker, Zack Zucker on 08/30/2025 by Kurt OrzeckJack Tucker (Zack Zucker):
Connor O’Malley:
Chris Fleming:
Thanks, Mudvayne, for Making This Week Even Shittier
Posted in Comedy, News with tags Mudvayne, Tim and Eric on 08/29/2025 by Kurt Orzeck
This week alone:
• RFK Jr. effectively sentenced millions of Americans to potentially die thanks to his contested decision to roll back critical, effective vaccines that (sigh) do not have microchips or tiny aliens in them.
• Trump announced plans to expand the U.S. military presence (i.e. martial law) into Seattle and Portland, in addition to L.A., Chicago and D.C.
• Another preventable school shooting resulted in the deaths of Catholic children in Minnesota and inflicted trauma on an indeterminate number of kids and families.
• ICE unlawfully arrested a bunch of firefighters in Washington while they battled a blaze.
• ICE detained Kilmar Abrego Garcia again, apparently with plans to send him to human-rights-abuse-lovin’ Uganda instead of a gulag in El Salvador this time.
• Israel killed five more journalists in yet another bombing in Gaza.
And to cap it all off, now we have to tolerate the return of Mudvayne. That’s right: fucking Mudvayne.
Continue readingHulk Hogan, We’ll Never Forget You—Or Why You Chose Wrestling Over Singing
Posted in Comedy with tags Hulk Hogan on 08/03/2025 by Kurt OrzeckAnd, to prove that Hulk Hogan, never for a second, was Definitely Was Not a Racist – no-ifs-ands-or-butts-about-it – there was this:
Dear Hulkster, make the heavens sing for all eternity, brother. And don’t forget to take your vitamins because word on the street has it that they can extend your life for decades to come.
Oh, wait ….
The Bad Penny (beta) 