Hate to say we told you so, but a few years after an anonymous leaker from the Biden Crime Family provided Extra-Super-Top-Secret Classified Files to The Bad Penny, we can now officially confirm that the Deep State Documents are completely True and prove that two famous rock musicians (Hollywood Elites, of course) are indeed among the 47 million Lizard People living among us in the United States (which is a “garbage bin,” by the way). We call it “The Maynard/Yow Connection.”
Continue readingWhether or not you’ve watched either of Denis Villeneuve’s Dune films, either of Tim Burton’s Beetlejuice movies, or any of the seven (that’s right, seven) installments of the B-movie franchise that is Tremors, you’ve still probably caught a glimpse of the “sandworm” creatures that surface (pun intended) in all those films. Donald Trump famously stupidly says he’d rather be killed by a shark than drown to death … which of these underground menaces would you least want to get eaten by?
The media is extensively covering sketch-comedy and voice actor Jay Johnston’s recent sentencing to a year in prison due to his unapologetic participation in the January 6 insurrection. But, as usual, news outlets aren’t doing enough research when reporting on the shocking news about the Mr. Show and Bob’s Burgers alum.
Check out this eerie clip from the first episode of Bob Odenkirk’s Next!, a riotous but failed 2002 sketch-comedy pilot for Fox, in which Johnston played a KKK member in one of its segments.
These days, trying to get all Americans to agree on something—anything—seems like a fool’s errand. But that sentiment doesn’t speak to an irrefutable truth; it speaks to our embarrassing and shameless lack of imagination, with social media as one of the main culprits.
For example, The Bad Penny is willing to bet that, if 1,000 people living in the U.S. were surveyed and given a multiple-choice test to name the worst lyric ever, in any music genre, from any point in the history of pop music, the end result would be more or less unanimous. The lyric is, has to be, could only be, and always will be: “Doctor, doctor give me the news/ I’ve got a bad case of lovin’ you!”
Robert Palmer, who died in September 2003, was perhaps a very nice man. He might not have had any enemies. His fan base is still intact more than two decades after Palmer’s passing. But dude had so much blood on his hands for claiming the unimaginatively titled “Bad Case of Loving You (Doctor Doctor),” as one his top hits, especially because he didn’t even write the damn thing. Let’s be real: Palmer made the conscious decision to turn that turd of a tune into a hit. And for that reason, he should have been embarrassed and ashamed of himself. Grocery shoppers who have to suffer through that god awful “hit” are the crowd who are most owed an apology—hell, maybe even reparations.
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Rat’s off to ya too for the new record you’re putting out later this year. Best see a doctor first, though, Tim (not Dr. San)!
One of the biggest acts to anchor this year’s edition of Treefort Music Fest in Boise isn’t even a musician.
Headlining Comedyfort, the self-described offshoot of the March extravaganza, is Tig Notaro. The veteran entertainer started performing more than 20 years ago and is now one of the most talked-about comedians in the U.S.
To wit, the Notaro performance scheduled for Comedyfort — specifically, at the Egyptian Theatre on March 25 at 8 p.m. — sold out quickly. Earlier this week, organizers announced a second show; they told the Bad Penny that it will happen on the same evening at 10:30 p.m.
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Bill Burr is splitting the Internet again. A bit about abortion on his latest comedy special, Live at Red Rocks, is tearing up social media. But, as usual, anyone shocked over the always-hilarious, always-controversial comedian is clearly not a fan.
In his latest special, Bill Burr closes by saying, “I know I said I lot of divisive sh– here tonight. So, before I get out of here, let’s bring the room together. It’s a very divisive time. Everyone wants to feel safe. Let’s do a nice, normal, mainstream topic so everybody can drive home happy, no fights. All right? Sound good? All right, great. Let’s talk abortion.”
Continue reading1. “Empty Bottle“: The hit song that broke the band like a broken lantern. That dared us to check out life on the dark side but then stuffed us with everything good and light. With this timeless and unparalleled gem, Tim, Axiom and Manuel drained us of everything — and filled us up again.
2. “Empty Bottle (Acoustic)“
3. “Empty Bottle (1.5 Remastered Edition)“
1. “Mailin’ It!“: “A lighthearted look into the history, innovation, and inner workings of the United States Postal Service.” Recommended episode: “Stamps, an American Obsession“
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