The Bad Penny (beta)

Congratulations to Alice Cooper for cranking out the first album in a half-century with the original lineup of his band last week! As expected, The Revenge of Alice Cooper is a rollicking (or should we say “ROlliCKing”?!) good time. Album highlights include “Crap That Gets in the Way of Your Dreams” and “Intergalactic Vagabond Blues.”

But, sadly, the reunited band’s got nothing on the crowning achievement in Coop’s career (which, fun fact, got rolling in 1964, three years before Ozzy’s). That feat of cosmic — oops, “intergalactic” — magnificence is, of course, Hollywood Vampires.

In case you’ve been living in a cave, or better yet a mansion, Hollywood Vampires co-stars Johnny Depp and Aerosmith’s Joe Perry along with studio musician Tommy Henriksen, the guy who, of course, famously played bass for German power-metal band Warlock from 1987 to 1988). The “supergroup” — and, honest to God, has that term ever been used more loosely? — assembled in 2012. In what must be a shock to the “King of Shock Rock” himself, they’ve never broken up.

In honor of … I dunno, whatever … here’s a list of all the original songs Hollywood Vampires have composed in their 13 years of existence, over the course of two studio albums, ranked below from “best” to “worst.”