The Bad Penny (beta)

Mastodon are kings of the mountain right now. If their clip for “Divinations” were a trailer for some “Thing”-like gritty Arctic-meets-outer-space sci-fi flick, I’d have already bought my ticket. That the bandmembers stepped into their acting shoes for the video is fitting, as everybody in the group has a “voice” – all the guys are contributing vocals. …

While that video might be reason alone to pray for “Headbangers Ball” to survive, the reality is late March’s two-hour episode had at best a half-dozen worthy videos (including Mastodon’s “Divinations,” Lamb of God‘s “Set to Fail,” Cannibal Corpse‘s “Evisceration Plague,” Exodus‘ “Riot Act” and Cattle Decapitation‘s “Regret & the Grave”).

So let’s do the math: That adds up to about 20 minutes of good viewing time over the course of two hours. The rest of the time is devoted to giving life support to bad informercials and bands like Hed P.E. (vanity spellings deliberately omitted ’cause they suck) and Dope and Lizzy Borden and …

Worthy clips:

Cannibal Corpse’s “Evisceration Plague”

Exodus’ “Riot Act”

Cattle Decapitation’s “Regret & the Grave”

Why does the dude from Static-X always look like he’s been caught in the middle of taking a crap? …

How is it a band as scary-looking as Slipknot can produce such drippy lyrics as these?

“Dead memories in my heart … But you asked me to love you and I did/ Traded my emotions for a contract to commit … Tied my soul into a knot and got my to submit/ So when I got away I only kept my scars/ The other me is gone now I don’t know where I belong.” …

Meanwhile, Dream Theater, Iron Maiden, Judas Priest and other vets are still managing to find enough cash to pump out unrealistic – and unrealistically overproduced – videos about mystical vixens twirling and human-looking robots staring amid fluorescent backdrops. …

More worthy clips:

As I Lay Dying’s “I Never Wanted” (from An Ocean Between Us, the album that keeps on giving)

Amon Amarth’s “Guardians of Asgaard” (featuring another aging, big-bellied Swede, former Entombed singer LG Petrov)

After seeing Metallica‘s performance of “I Disappear” at the 2000 MTV Music Awards, I am more grateful than ever that they consciously decided to get good again. …

Enter 1991 (Newsted gets docked five points for wearing a sleeveless tee advertising his own band):

Attack Attack aren’t the only metal band to use a vocoder – At All Cost come to mind – but they do have a distinct sound. Can’t embed their “Stick Stickly” video, unfortunately, but it’s out there. …

Well, that was fun. Toodles.

[This article was originally published on Indiepit in September 2009.]

This entry was posted on 09/21/2025 at 8:52 pm and is filed under Essays, Reviews, Videos with tags Amon Amarth, As I Lay Dying, Cannibal Corpse, Cattle Decapitation, Headbangers Ball, Mastodon. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.