The Bad Penny (beta)

A funny thing happened when Robyn Hitchcock released his 12th studio album, Jewels for Sophia, in July 1999 and toured behind it: Quizzically, he decided to devote one of its songs to actor Gene Hackman, whose previously ubiquitous appearances in gritty crime capers from yesteryears had inexplicably slowed to a trickle.

Hitchcock latched onto Hackman’s fading presence like a mesmerizing curio one might find in an antique store, haunting him to the extent that he felt compelled to address it in song. (Hackman passed away this month at age 95, according to news reports from today, hence this homage of sorts.)

The lyrics to “Don’t Talk to Me About Gene Hackman,” which was unlisted on Jewels for Sophia, went like this:

I’ll have a warm bath
I’ll have a bottle of wine
I’ll put myself to bed
And I’ll feel just fine
But don’t talk to me about Gene Hackman

He’s got an evil grin
He’s got curly hair
And every time he smiles
It means trouble somewhere
So don’t talk to me about Gene Hackman

He’s in every film
Sometimes wearing a towel
And if it isn’t him
You get Andie MacDowell
So don’t talk to me about Gene Hackman

Don’t talk to me at all
Don’t say hello
You could be Gene himself for all I know

In Unforgiven
He was totally mean
But when he got his
I really felt for Gene
But don’t talk to me about Gene Hackman

I’ll have a cold shower
I’ll have a bottle of pop
I’ll get a dog named Laszlo
From a Laszlo shop
But don’t talk to me about
G-E-N-E H-A-C-K-M-A-N
Gene Hackman

Some fans regarded the song as Hitchcock at his quirkiest, while others dismissed it as irritating British wit. But in one of the first interviews I ever conducted, in the same year as Jewels for Sophia reached the CD bins at record stores, Hitchcock elucidated his train of thought while writing “Don’t Talk to Me About Gene Hackman.”

Here is an excerpt from my feature on Hitchcock for my old magazine The Creature; the full interview isn’t online yet:

“When asked why [Hitchcock] chose [to focus on] Hackman [in song], Hitchcock says, ‘Who knows? He appears to be in almost every film. I could’ve sung [about] Michael Caine, but it was more fun singing [about] Gene Hackman. I hope he doesn’t have me rubbed out or anything. I gather he’s quite genial. Have you seen the film Unforgiven?’ “

RIP Gene Hackman. Long live Robyn Hitchcock (who is 71, for those keeping score at home). And for that matter, long live 91-year-old Michael Caine too.